AFRAID OF THE BACKLASH
written by anonymous
source wikimedia
"Hello Rick, thank you so much for coming."
"Hi Charles, thanks for having me!"
"Let me introduce you. This is Miranda, our production executive, best one there is--"
"Rick! Great to finally meet you!"
"Miranda, my pleasure"
"-- and here's Josh, the legal counselor--"
"Welcome Rick!"
"Hello Josh!"
"-- and I'm Charles, executive producer at this little film joint. But you already obviously know that."
"Charles, again, it's an honour to meet you. All of you. Your little film joint is every writer's Mecca."
"Well, well. Have a sit, Rick, let's talk shop. Coffee? Water?"
"Yes to both."
"Coming right up."
*
"So. Thanks for sending us your script. It's an honour. Wonderful, wonderful stuff."
"Terrific!"
"I mean you really did something truly remarkable there."
"The story! The characters!"
"Yes, and also let's not forget the plot twist."
"Oh my, yes, the plot twist got me going like how in hell's shiny marbles did he come up with that."
"Elegant. Very elegant."
"And clever, too. Funny and clever."
"Oh, I don't really know what to say. I'm very flattered. Thank you so much."
"It's I who should thank you. I mean all I do every day is read through piles and piles of garbage and suddenly here comes this gem of a screenplay."
"Thank you! Truly thank you. It means a lot."
***
"So... what happens next?"
"Great question! Right down to business. Love it. Okay Rick. Look. Here's the thing. We would love to produce it. It'd be a devilish flick. Would make fifty mil guaranteed."
"Wow."
"Wow indeed. However. There's this one thing."
"Yeah?"
"I don't want you to take it the wrong way. But we're afraid of the backlash."
"Backlash?"
"Yeah, backlash. Counterreaction. Recoil. Ricochet. Repercussion. Retaliation. Kickback. Flop. Recoil. Boomerang. A strong public reaction against something, especially a recent political or social development."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"Look Rick, don't get me wrong. It's a hell of a script. I want to see it made. At the same time, I couldn't help myself thinking: how would LGBT community react to it?"
"Charles, actually it's LGBTQ+."
"Yes. LGBTQ+ community. Thanks Miranda."
"Miranda, may I step in here. Per recent guidelines, the correct term is 2SLGBTQIA+."
"Josh, what would we do without you! Thanks. So Rick. I was sitting and I was thinking. What would, erm, 2SLGBTQIA+ community think about this."
"I... I don't know, really. Haven't thought about it."
"May I, Charles? Rick, look, as enthusiastic we are, as I'm sure you understand, we need to think about our audience. And your story, like, all the characters are heterosexual, and that honestly make me a little worried. Makes us all a little worried."
"Afraid of the backlash."
"Yes, correct, afraid of the backlash."
"Or let's take the Black community. What would they say?"
"The Black community?"
"Yeah, I mean, the Black community, you know, they see the film and they go why everyone's here white."
"And then we got a problem."
"Thank you Josh. And then we got a problem."
"This is so strange... Backlash? You think there would be backlash?"
"I mean, Rick, let me be perfectly honest with you. We don't know. Nobody knows. But we just can't take the risks. You know. One wrong move and this little film joint goes up in flames. Our reputation, our jobs. YouTube apologies. We don't want that."
"And trust me buddy you don't want that either."
"Thank you Josh. Yes Rick, trust me buddy you don't want that either."
"I understand. I didn't really think about it this way. But... Charles, Miranda, Josh... if I may... can I ask you something? I mean, the story takes place in seventeenth century rural Russia. Why would there be, uhm, 2SLGBTQIA+ community? Or Black people?"
"Fair point. Still, Rick. We're just, like, as I said. Really afraid of the backlash."
"Don't want any backlashes here."
"No backlashes."
"Seriously afraid of the backlashes."
"Terrified."
"Terrified of backlashes. Living in a constant fear of a backlash."
"Drives me absolute nuts."
"Remember the Kowalski backlash the other day?"
"Jesus. Don't even start."
"I mean there's a backlash practically anywhere you look now."
"So we don't want no backlashes."
"So we're not making the movie."
"... ?!"
"Yeah. We talked with our diversity and inclusion guys... they also raised concerns. Huge concerns. Red-flag flavour concerns."
"Also significant lack of feminism agenda."
"Yes, significant lack of feminism agenda, thank you Josh, plays a big role here. Overall."
"I'm shocked."
"Honestly so am I. But we're not making the movie. Alas. Yeah. Sad. But look, don't take it personally. Because as things stand, we're not making any movies now."
"What?"
"Yeah I think so. I have eleven incredible scripts on my desk right now which I can make into rich juicy goddamn bangers, but... [starts sobbing] I'm afraid... I'm so afraid... I'm so afraid... of the backlash..."